My Learning Fall and Rise
A soft-spoken, 15-year old turning 16, bookworm walked into the first AP class she was ever put into, being nervous was an understatement. I wasn't aware of how much of a change I would be going through by transitioning from an Honors class to an AP course, but then again it wasn't something to be surprised about. I was so used to specifically structured learning conditions with five-paragraph essays and daily warm-ups that I tried not to think any less or more for this class, but I was wrong. I knew that walking into the classroom would be my big break, I would bring out the best in myself and give it my all, I knew that if I made it through this course I would accomplish something. On August 12 I walked up the ramp and stepped foot across the threshold, seeing my English teacher and some of my classmates, I was immediately amazed by the atmosphere and how comfortable everyone seemed to be. I saw familiar faces and others that I would, later on, get closer with, but most of all I saw how my future learning environment would be, and I couldn't have been more of a nervously excited mess. On that Monday morning, I left my house as my regular timid and ordinary self, and that's exactly how I arrived in my fifth-period class, but it hit me that the moment I sat in a random seat, I would never be the same.
I took one look at Dr. Preston and sighed, I kept hypnotizing myself into thinking that this would be another class with useless work and insufficient practice. The bell had rung and all students sat in their seats, completely unaware of what would happen next. We were introduced to something called "Open-source Learning," and for the first time in what felt like ever, we, the students, finally had a choice to make. Dr. Preston explained to us that he would leave the room for five minutes and gave us the task to choose together if we wanted to learn by the book or by technology. I thought the whole thing was a joke, I honestly expected him to take one look at us and burst out laughing only to say, "I'm kidding! Take out a paper and pencil, we're taking a vocab quiz." I would've felt a little at ease if he did that instead of actually leaving the classroom, but I realized that sometimes the hard way is the right way. As previous honor students, we decided on what to do by taking votes, even going as far as writing on the whiteboard and raising hands. It felt... nice. I think I can speak for almost everyone in that class when I say we felt a sense of freedom, it was as if we finally made a dent in the mold we had been so crucially put in. Dr, Preston was called back in, two minutes less than the predicted five, and he looked stunned. He glanced at the whiteboard and all of our faces, and he smiled. Dr. Preston seemed happy and that was the only thing that we needed before relaxing and realizing that he wasn't like all the rest, I saw him as the daisy in between all the roses. Different. A good different.
The first time Dr. Preston mentioned daily journals, I wasn't fazed at all, it's what every English class ever does. His questions were what stuck out the most, asking about who we would want to interview with no limits, what we would do if we had more money than imaginable, and even asking us to write a story about a bug. I can safely say that at first glance, I wasn't expecting much, but because of how far I've come I will now say to never expect too little. Writing means a lot to me, it's one of the few ways I'm truly able to express myself, even through the minimal task of writing for 5 minutes in a composition book I felt unstoppable. One of my favorite journal entries has to be on August 16 only because on this day, in particular, I felt the most emotions. I put my pencil on that paper and I had no more control from there. Letting my mind do the speaking and not my actual voice is a huge factor in my successful writing. When I do things verbally I tend to feel judged and exposed, but through keyboards and pencils, I feel protected, like no one knows how I feel but myself. Blog posts were the same story, I saw them as another form of journals, but with more thinking and instructions. Typing one of my favorite blog posts, Letter to A Mentor Draft 1, I felt anxious, but only because I didn't want to screw anything up. I didn't write as much as I expected to, but I feel that I wrote enough to get my point across which makes it one of my favorites. The one thing I can say is, posting videos on my blog was that last thing I ever imagined doing- also the last thing I ever wanted to do. Exposing my face on some website took a lot of courage and a whole lot of filters.
This semester has been a roller coaster, obviously, but once you've reached the top then it's all fun from there. One of the most difficult challenges I had to face was posting videos of myself on my blog. It wasn't the reading that bugged me, it was the fact that I had to step out of my comfort zone and publish a 2-minute video of a simple recitation. I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it, I thought about never even publishing the videos and being fine with getting marked off for them, but everyone knows that isn't the true me. I faced my fear of the camera and published all the recitations I was tasked to do, including "This Book Is Dangerous," by far the most fun I had in making a video. Reading the insane rhymes and alliterations engraved in the text never failed to bring a smile to my face, I enjoyed every second of that recording. That specific task of reading Fox in Sox in front of my camera will always be something in this course that makes me smile like an idiot, I encountered it as a challenge but going through it I realized that not everything has to be exact, it showed me to let go of perfection once in a while and encouraged me to make mistakes to learn from them.
I've developed many tips and tricks just from the few months that I've been in this course, and let me say they've made my life so much easier. I've always been someone to complete their work on time even if it meant working down to the last minute, but to do that, I've had to figure out how to accomplish all my work successfully. We read an article titled "Train Your Brain Like a memory champion," in which I learned the idea that visuals are crucial to your memorization skills. I use this method, of replacing words with pictures, when I study for my vocab tests or when I have to memorize something quickly. It's helped me heavily throughout the course so far. Another piece of writing that we were tasked to skim through was "The Art of Hosting Good Conversations Online," which comes to the rescue a lot, especially since all of us students have to manage our own blogs and socialize with each other through them. One of the main ideas was to have "authentic conversations," that has stuck with me ever since. Expressing true feelings to others that you don't really know is such a huge factor in trusting others, and I see it as something humble and brave because it's hard to open up. Trusting each other can go a long way, that's what I learned. The last thing I will include is the phrase spere aude, meaning dare to be wise. I learned this when our class read "How We Read," and I like to believe that it's brought me a lot of the courage that I'm able to have now. It's as simple as the phrase be yourself and nobody else or think outside the box, but it's so much more than that. It's inspired me to challenge myself to seek an even better version of myself through all this mess. The saying, even in a language that isn't English, presents to me a dare that I can never pass, it's an eye-opener.
Walking into class now, every day is a new opportunity for me to learn something new. I went from being someone who was forced to learn by the book and have everything structured correctly, to someone who has a say in the way we learn and grow and how it all happens. Throughout this course so far I've been given the freedom to show who I truly am through my writing, my blog posts, and even through my interview. Being in the position that I am now, with a better mindset and a wider perspective on things, I'm proud to say that I am the better version of myself than I was four months ago. I, as well as my peers and supporters, have come a long way to where I am now, and so have my learning abilities. Everything has developed for the better. I am still that nervously excited mess whenever I walk into class but filled with more valuable experiences and happiness.
I took one look at Dr. Preston and sighed, I kept hypnotizing myself into thinking that this would be another class with useless work and insufficient practice. The bell had rung and all students sat in their seats, completely unaware of what would happen next. We were introduced to something called "Open-source Learning," and for the first time in what felt like ever, we, the students, finally had a choice to make. Dr. Preston explained to us that he would leave the room for five minutes and gave us the task to choose together if we wanted to learn by the book or by technology. I thought the whole thing was a joke, I honestly expected him to take one look at us and burst out laughing only to say, "I'm kidding! Take out a paper and pencil, we're taking a vocab quiz." I would've felt a little at ease if he did that instead of actually leaving the classroom, but I realized that sometimes the hard way is the right way. As previous honor students, we decided on what to do by taking votes, even going as far as writing on the whiteboard and raising hands. It felt... nice. I think I can speak for almost everyone in that class when I say we felt a sense of freedom, it was as if we finally made a dent in the mold we had been so crucially put in. Dr, Preston was called back in, two minutes less than the predicted five, and he looked stunned. He glanced at the whiteboard and all of our faces, and he smiled. Dr. Preston seemed happy and that was the only thing that we needed before relaxing and realizing that he wasn't like all the rest, I saw him as the daisy in between all the roses. Different. A good different.
The first time Dr. Preston mentioned daily journals, I wasn't fazed at all, it's what every English class ever does. His questions were what stuck out the most, asking about who we would want to interview with no limits, what we would do if we had more money than imaginable, and even asking us to write a story about a bug. I can safely say that at first glance, I wasn't expecting much, but because of how far I've come I will now say to never expect too little. Writing means a lot to me, it's one of the few ways I'm truly able to express myself, even through the minimal task of writing for 5 minutes in a composition book I felt unstoppable. One of my favorite journal entries has to be on August 16 only because on this day, in particular, I felt the most emotions. I put my pencil on that paper and I had no more control from there. Letting my mind do the speaking and not my actual voice is a huge factor in my successful writing. When I do things verbally I tend to feel judged and exposed, but through keyboards and pencils, I feel protected, like no one knows how I feel but myself. Blog posts were the same story, I saw them as another form of journals, but with more thinking and instructions. Typing one of my favorite blog posts, Letter to A Mentor Draft 1, I felt anxious, but only because I didn't want to screw anything up. I didn't write as much as I expected to, but I feel that I wrote enough to get my point across which makes it one of my favorites. The one thing I can say is, posting videos on my blog was that last thing I ever imagined doing- also the last thing I ever wanted to do. Exposing my face on some website took a lot of courage and a whole lot of filters.
This semester has been a roller coaster, obviously, but once you've reached the top then it's all fun from there. One of the most difficult challenges I had to face was posting videos of myself on my blog. It wasn't the reading that bugged me, it was the fact that I had to step out of my comfort zone and publish a 2-minute video of a simple recitation. I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it, I thought about never even publishing the videos and being fine with getting marked off for them, but everyone knows that isn't the true me. I faced my fear of the camera and published all the recitations I was tasked to do, including "This Book Is Dangerous," by far the most fun I had in making a video. Reading the insane rhymes and alliterations engraved in the text never failed to bring a smile to my face, I enjoyed every second of that recording. That specific task of reading Fox in Sox in front of my camera will always be something in this course that makes me smile like an idiot, I encountered it as a challenge but going through it I realized that not everything has to be exact, it showed me to let go of perfection once in a while and encouraged me to make mistakes to learn from them.
I've developed many tips and tricks just from the few months that I've been in this course, and let me say they've made my life so much easier. I've always been someone to complete their work on time even if it meant working down to the last minute, but to do that, I've had to figure out how to accomplish all my work successfully. We read an article titled "Train Your Brain Like a memory champion," in which I learned the idea that visuals are crucial to your memorization skills. I use this method, of replacing words with pictures, when I study for my vocab tests or when I have to memorize something quickly. It's helped me heavily throughout the course so far. Another piece of writing that we were tasked to skim through was "The Art of Hosting Good Conversations Online," which comes to the rescue a lot, especially since all of us students have to manage our own blogs and socialize with each other through them. One of the main ideas was to have "authentic conversations," that has stuck with me ever since. Expressing true feelings to others that you don't really know is such a huge factor in trusting others, and I see it as something humble and brave because it's hard to open up. Trusting each other can go a long way, that's what I learned. The last thing I will include is the phrase spere aude, meaning dare to be wise. I learned this when our class read "How We Read," and I like to believe that it's brought me a lot of the courage that I'm able to have now. It's as simple as the phrase be yourself and nobody else or think outside the box, but it's so much more than that. It's inspired me to challenge myself to seek an even better version of myself through all this mess. The saying, even in a language that isn't English, presents to me a dare that I can never pass, it's an eye-opener.
Walking into class now, every day is a new opportunity for me to learn something new. I went from being someone who was forced to learn by the book and have everything structured correctly, to someone who has a say in the way we learn and grow and how it all happens. Throughout this course so far I've been given the freedom to show who I truly am through my writing, my blog posts, and even through my interview. Being in the position that I am now, with a better mindset and a wider perspective on things, I'm proud to say that I am the better version of myself than I was four months ago. I, as well as my peers and supporters, have come a long way to where I am now, and so have my learning abilities. Everything has developed for the better. I am still that nervously excited mess whenever I walk into class but filled with more valuable experiences and happiness.
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